Sure, luck and happiness are different for every human being. And yet, 90% of respondents answer this question with terms such as success, money, love, beauty and possessions. Depending on weighting and order, health may also be a part of it.
But the next promotion, the supposedly perfect body or the larger apartment are no guarantee for permanent and sustainable happiness. We always want more and want to be better … why is that?
Sociologists / psychologists say that this “failure or misjudgment” of what would make us happy in the future is not supported by the brain respectively a sound mind. Although intuition usually works well in crisis situations, it always leads us astray in this case. In other words, helping us to survive hard times, prevents us from becoming happy. And in addition, you often want, what you can not yet. In short: the grass is always greener on the other side …and we can’t no satisfaction.
When we finally got the desired job, we have achieved something, but the brain quickly gets used to this condition and demands more again. After a short time, we feel the same way as before; a phenomenon known as hedonistic adaptation. Further, our minds do not necessarily think in absolute terms, rather they judge things by relative comparison points. In other words we constantly compare ourselves with other people and consequently often with the wrong level.
Keywords such as “indebtedness through consumer credit” or “temptation gambling” are omnipresent, and although we know the opportunity is very small, we continue because others finally win too.
“Man is wrong as long as he strives” may be sa suitable saying in many aspects.
50% of our ability to to feel happy and balanced is inherited and part of educattion. Only 10% is caused by income and our environment; but at least 40% influence interpersonal relationships and our emotional behavior.
When frustration and dissatisfaction arise again, a kind of “gratitude collection” may help to overcome this situation. So, do not complain if you’re in a traffic jam after an accident, rather think: I was lucky, just a few meters further ahead and it might have hit me.
Scientists have also shown that getting enough sleep (7-8 hours / night) makes you more balanced and happier and less susceptible to stress. This is because sleep and exercise have a stabilizing effect on the happiness- hormone- balance. Therefore, a general guidance/ solution is: a three times a week training of only 30 minutes per day can replace the use of an antidepressant – of course, there are health exceptions. A tired brain obviously tends to seek happiness in the wrong place.
However, it seems that it is basically up to us to decide how well we are. Instead of excessive possessions, just reminisce in beautiful memories or have one (!) good glass of wine with friends – these are things/ moments we enjoy without getting used to it.
How was it like at a time when we did not have all these things yet? Were we really less fortunate during education times or as poor students? – certainly not. The money-time paradox or the saying “time is money” is well-known, but “time ability” is far more important to happiness than prosperity. Taking time for oneself and others, persuing good deeds still fills people with more joy and balance than a major bank account. On the other hand, there are, of course, financial bottleneck situations that can disturb and restrict the basic needs of a person very sustainably.
Obviously, happiness is not a condition to be achieved, but a way of thinking that is worth living and caring for.
If I proof myself in this respect, Einstein’s theory of relativity comes to my mind. Everyone has his/ her individual level of aspiration, which should be judged realistically. Those who put the bar too high, will seldom be satisfied. Having new aims or striving for excellence, yes, but in a moderate manner ….
Of course, luck and satisfaction are strictly two-fold. “Luck is with the hard-workers”, but sometimes it’s destiny and you are just in the wrong place at the wrong time and can not escape a personal catastrophe.
Especially in the case of illness or pain applies: how well it has gone before you only know when you were hit. It can not get any worse ?… unfortunately it can get worse.
I admit that renunciation and leaning back, even in progessed age, are my weakness … it is still so difficult. After all, any chance of doing something (for example, traveling to a remote part of the world or taking a parachute jump) might be the last chance: BUT: you should not challenge the fortune either.
“Happiness in love, bad luck in the game” … many proverbs deal with this topic.
Anyway, since I know the probability factors of different games of hazards like Lotto (e.g. 6 out of 49 has a quotient for 6 correct numbers of 1: 14 millions), I spend my money more meaningful, than to tear my lotterie ticket dissatisfied week by week. AND even more important: I’m also happy when others win …